The other day, one of my kids came running out into the living room and told us (breathlessly, in his best tattle tale soprano) that the other kid had forgotten to flush after a bathroom session of the more lengthy persuasion.
Because this is an issue with some history, my wife has a tally on the chalkboard that keeps track of these transgressions with the hope that it will lead so some measure of shame in the boys, or perhaps even a change of behavior. (We’d be satisfied with shame.)
Anyway, kid #1 says, “Kid #2 forgot to flush again!”
And kid #2 says, “How dare you accuse me of something like that? Other than the five times that Mommy has already documented over there, I have never and would never dream of forgetting to flush.”
“…plus, it’s not my fault. I was distracted by kid #1 because he was doing something way worse. Way worse! The details escape me.”
“…oh, hey, kid #1, did you find my phone in there next to the toilet? I think I left it in there.”
“…but seriously, Mommy, how do you know it was me?”
Mommy was able to see through this line of defense with some ease. She added a mark to Kid #2’s tally. He sulked into the bathroom to flush, defeated.
We are adults, after all. There are are a lot of things in this life that are difficult, but firing up the trusty bullshit detector to navigate a poorly conceived, rambling, blatant lie from an obviously guilty child is not one of them. No, that is one of those things that we are good at without even trying.
And really, their attempts at cover-ups are often pretty funny. Nothing to get worked up about. Fodder for our next email newsletter, perhaps. After all, they’re kids who forgot to flush the toilet, not the President of the United States.
Thank god they’ll eventually grow out of this kind of thing.